Take Control (3): Be a Friend

Continuation of Take Control (1): Be a Captain and Take Control (2): Be Good

Today I just want to summarize my thoughts with two connecting ideas. When followed, I think they will be a huge factor of our progress, helping us get real control in life.

Surround yourself with people that lift you up
You need friends in life, friends who can support your dreams, friends who will love you and stick by you, despite your faults. We have to choose these friends carefully. Sometimes we just hang out with the wrong crowd, with people who pull us down rather than inspire us. Sure, there may persons who are “fun” to be around, but two questions are important to ask ourselves: Do they share my values in life? And I am a better person because of them? If the answer is no – move on!

On the road of life we need friends we can depend on.

Be the one who lifts others
But on the road of life we also need to be the kind of person that others can depend on. What we give others can’t be any different than what we expect from them (the golden rule, you know). In other words, if I want good friends, I have to be a good friend.

Am I a person that others can lean on?

Unlike what society and media are telling us, giving is better than receiving. We need to get away from our self-centered way of thinking that I, me, and myself always come first. We are fooled to think that this is the best way to happiness. It’s actually the opposite; true happiness is gained by giving of ourselves to others.

Be happy (and stay in control) – be a good friend!

Your friend,

Note: The pictures are taken from the CES study convention mentioned in part 1

6 replies »

  1. Hi Louis. I know this post was a long time ago. But yes you are right..To be surrounded by people that lift me up. I was hospitalised 2 years ago with pneumonia and a serious bone infection in my hip. I knew god didnt want to let me go to heaven to be with my parents and my best friend from childhood. So I am still here to this day. Improving each day. Thankyou also to you for lifting my spirits and your kind words about my dads passing.
    Big hugs
    From Chantel your new facebook friend. Thanks for making me smile

  2. Thank you, Louis, for your elucidation!
    I don´t disagree with you, I do believe that there are times when we need to be careful about who we see and why. But I also think that it mustn´t be used as the ulimate excuse for not being there for people when they REALLY need us. (And when people REALLY need help and support helping them are not always the most comfortable thing to do).

  3. Anna, you’re absolutely right. And that is just what I am talking about in the second part of the post: that we cannot forget the giving part, and lifting others – just like Jesus did, with no respect to persons.

    The first part is more of a caution, that’s all: that we’re careful in choosing our friends. I think most people would agree that that’s important. Of course, we don’t say, “Well, you don’t inspire me, so I cannot be your friend”. But on the same token, we don’t say, “It’s okay for you to hurt or use me, and hinder me to find happiness.” It’s just a question of good judgement, right?

    You bring up the example of Jesus, and that’s great. Yes, Jesus spent much time with sinners. But He didn’t go to them because He was attracted by their careless of flashy life style, as WE sometimes might be temped to do. This is the big difference. No, He went there to teach them the truth and to be a light unto them; in short, to offer salvation also to them.

    This is the example we have to follow, no doubt. But – and this is important part I think – although Jesus taught sinners, most of them were humble and repentant, and loved His company because He inspired them to want to become better persons. If we are given similar opportunities to teach, by precept and example, that’s wonderful (not comparing ourselves with Christ, of course).

    I’ve got so many other thoughts about this… but I’ll stop here, for now. 🙂

    God bless!

  4. But being a friend – isn´t that too to continue to be there even when that person that need you cannot inspire you or for a period does not share your values? Didn´t Jesus eat with sinners – althoug He was not a sinner Himself? And shall we not follow His example?

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