Alive through the Love of God

Last night I was moved by a verse in the Book of Mormon, one of our sacred books of scripture. In 2 Nephi, chapter 11, we read that Nephi was anxious to learn from God what his father, Lehi, had seen in a vision about the tree of life. Then, as he pondered in his heart, Nephi was “taken away” by the Spirit of the Lord. A beautiful conversation followed between the two, but I want to focus on verses 16-17, where the Spirit asks:

“Knowest thou the condescension of God? And [Nephi] said unto him: I know that he loveth his children; nevertheless, I do not know the meaning of all things.”

One of the reasons I cherish this verse is because it puts everything in the right perspective. In life we sometimes wonder why “bad” things happen, especially why bad things happen to good people. We search for an understanding. We search for reasons. And when we don’t find any, we get frustrated and perhaps even blame God. I personally believe everything happens for a reason, but that doesn’t mean I always understand what that reason is. In fact, by the time our lives are over there will most likely be many unanswered questions. What I have to ask myself is: Am I okay with that, the part about not understanding everything - especially the times of hurt and despair?

Getting back to the “right perspective”, Nephi gives the answer that comforts. Although he is not in this context thinking about the trails of life as such, his reply is the key to everything. He says that he (as well as we all) does not know the meaning of all things. So far we agree. But before that he rightly states as his first conviction: “I know that [God] loveth his children.” Do we all agree with that… or rather, truly believe that?

This is the crucial key to making it through life: knowing, in your heart, that God really loves you. Why is this so crucial? Simply this: if you know you are loved and cared for - especially by your Heavenly Father - you will be able to cope with any difficult situation ahead; you will know that hardships are not punishments, but means to shape your character. If God cannot test you, how can you truly show who you are. And if you can’t show it, how can you ever know it? Again, we may still not understand everything, but now we will at least make it through, because of the love of God.

To put it in more simple words: God’s love is what keeps us alive. And by that I mean truly alive. My point is that we haven’t really lived if we haven’t felt the love of God. There is a power in God’s love, unprecedented in kind, nothing to match it. It is the power that sets us free, free to enjoy life in its full. What I am talking about being truly happy, experiencing lasting joy, being able to keep that positive nature through good times as well as the bad.

The ancient apostle Paul understood this. I esteem his words in Romans 8:38-39:

“For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Whenever I write in this forum, of course I can only speak for myself. I do so today as well. But I nevertheless feel the need to bring you my strongest witness about this. I have felt the love of God. I have planted it in my heart. This very moment it is consuming me, and there are no words to describe how that feels. The only way I can begin to convey that feeling is to say, in the spirit of Paul’s words, that nothing in this life can separate me from the love of God. The very thought of that happening is terrifying .

I try not to use the word “truth” flamboyantly, but here and now I say: the love of God will keep you truly alive. That is the truth.

Spending Money You Don’t Have (2)

Thanks to those of you who wrote great comments to Spending Money You Don’t Have. (If the rest of you have the time please take a minute and read those remarks.) I think we can all agree that this is a difficult, yet important subject. And we’re all still learning, aren’t we? Speaking for myself, I know I understand the principle more or less perfectly, but in theory it’s a different matter. Let’s just say that at times I have, like many of you, learned the heard way. But in retrospect, those experiences have been good too - as long as I try to learn from them.

I also wrote a comment to the aforementioned post. It’s too long to post again, but I am summarizing it here with the following thoughts:

The happiest moments in life are not the costliest.

Control your money, or it will control you.

Today’s “standard of living” is not to be synonymously defined as “standard of happiness”.

There are no shortcuts! The only likely positive effect from gambling halls or lottery tickets is a fleeting thrill. But it is just that: fleeting. The sure positive effect from a pay check resulting from honest, hard work is personal satisfaction and lasting joy.

If we fail to balance our budget we face the danger of being pulled overboard into the currents of debt and economic dependency.

Finally, here is a wonderful quote from the talented Garth Brooks:

“Happiness isn’t getting what you want, it’s wanting what you got.”

Life is a Game

Yesterday Johannes had his first day in school after the heart surgery. He wanted me to go with him, so I took the day off from work and helped him get settled in. It went very well. He was beaming when he saw his class mates again. This will do him a lot of good, I thought.

Today he went by himself, but before I went to work, during the school’s morning break, I went over to there (we live next door) just to see that he was happy. And he was. On the way back I passed Isak and his friends in 1st grade. First Isak ran to me and jumped in my arms, and shouted, “Daaaaady!!!” Then the other kids followed. They immediately asked if I wanted to play a game with them. I smiled, partly because I love to play, but partly because I knew that it won’t take many years before our children will do anything to not have their parents show up on school grounds. How embarrassing! So why not seize the opportunity while it is still there. And work? Well… it could wait twenty more minutes. We played tag and all kinds of games I don’t even know the names of. I haven’t run so much in months. When the bell rang I was all sweaty, but happy still. It was great to be a kid again - if only for a few moments.

So… at our jobs today, let’s step away from our computers and work stations for awhile and run around with our colleagues and play tag. If nothing else, it will put a smile on our faces (seeing how silly we all shall look). But, if we are happier at work, we will work harder and better… right? Maybe even a promotion for a new bill for parliament should be in place here: at least one game per day at every place of employment.

I’ll be the first to vote on it.

Our Saviour’s Love

“We love him, because he first loved us.” (1 John 4:19)

It’s been a good Easter. The family has been together a lot. My mother-in-law, Silvana, has also been here. She is really sweet. She took all of the kids one night so Angelica and I could have a date for the first time in who knows how long. Having small children is wonderful, but being alone with your wife now and then is worth gold. But the weird thing… not long after you leave your children, you start missing them, even though you finally got the chance to get away for awhile.

I think what made it such a nice Easter celebration was that it got off to a wonderful start. On Friday morning I had planned to sleep in, but our bed got invaded very early by creature who looked just like our kids. Oh great, I sighed, there goes my much needed rest. But after doing my ritual stretching and eye-opening exercises I started to feel good, a feeling that also came from the peaceful serenity of the moment; there we were, all five of us, lying next to each other, and it was calm. Yes, calm. No kids jumping on my stomach. No teasing. No whining. Then Clara leans over to her mother, puts her hands on Angelica’s cheeks, and says: “Love…”

While Angelica is in tears from hearing Clara attempting to say “I love you” for the very first time (at least so we could understand her), Johannes is the next to surprise us. He said: “You know, I would die for Clara!” Hearing him, but not altogether ready for such profound words so early in the morning, I said: “What!” He answered: “If something bad was about to happen to Clara, and she might die, then I would want to die in her stead. Because I have lived so long, but she has her whole life in front of her.” Without saying much I just hugged him. He sure has his good moments.

Then Angelica and I looked at each other. We were thinking the same thing: Where does all this love come from? Not that I think we are an unloving family, but our regular mornings don’t usually spoil us like this. Maybe that was the answer: This was not a regular morning. Instantly I remembered. It was Easter Friday. That was day our Lord and Saviour suffered and died on the cross, for the sake of all mankind. At times you just have to follow your heart, so I grabbed the Bible and asked if I could read something for everyone. No one protested (another miracle). So I opened the Gospel of Luke and read his account of the last supper, the suffering in Gethsemane, the false trails, and the final degradation of Jesus when he was nailed on the cross.

After finishing we spoke with our children about the atonement of Christ, and how blessed we were to have felt His unconditional love in our lives, also this very morning. I am convinced that having that peaceful start of Easter made it much better than what it otherwise would have been. But it wasn’t thanks to us. It was thanks to Him! He knew what we needed.

But you know, what we need is no different from what you need. We all need God’s love. It’s the only sure remedy for all the corners of this ol’ world - your’s too.

A Prayer for the Heart (5)

How about those contrasts in life? Yesterday I wrote life is like a tango with steps both forward and backward. Today life is… well… I don’t have the words… but it feels like a SAMBA! Because we’re so happy!!!

The catheterisation of Johannes’ heart went great. The bad signs that were discovered yesterday through the ultra sound was something of a false alarm. We couldn’t be more relieved. And Johannes is another person today. When he woke up from his sedation after today’s small surgery, the first thing he asked in a whisper was, “Do I need another open-heart surgery?” My wife answered, “No, honey, everything looked fine!” He was still to weak to fully open his eyes, but in a daze he said: “Yeah!” spoken in English.

Earlier, when we received the news from the surgeon, we got so excited that we jumped up and down, screaming, laughing… crying. I don’t know how many hallelujah’s and praise-the-Lord’s I uttered, but whatever the number, I am sure it couldn’t have been enough. We were so grateful, beyond words. But still we tried, in our frailty, to say thanks unto God for answering the many prayers offered in behalf of Johannes.

A big thanks also to my brother Richard and his daughter, Mirelle, who took a three hour train ride early this morning, just to come to us in Göteborg and take care of Isak and Clara, so my wife and I could be with Johannes today. The other day it was our good friend Malena who also came and assisted. We are so grateful for all your help.

I’ve got to run! Clara is restless in her bed.

More later….

Louis

A Prayer for the Heart (3)

As soon as I had saved yesterday’s post, A Prayer for the Heart (2), Johannes started to move. I flew out of the chair I was sitting in, almost throwing my laptop to the floor. I wanted to make sure his wish was honored, that Angelica or I would be there when he woke up.

As he tried to move a part of his left arm, slowly, slowly, Johannes reminded me of a groggy and pale ol’ drunkard. His speech was foggy and remained unclear throughout the whole night, of course, with all those drugs in his body. Still, in my eyes, he was so… beautiful. Tonight, beauty was in a tiny movement, like the raising of an eye brow, or twitching of a finger. Any sign of life was welcome. And although I was never really worried, it still made me happy to see Johannes make the effort to energize himself in those tiny, little steps. (Just think how small things can make you so happy.)

I ended up staying at Johannes’ side all night, catching no more than two hours of sleep in a chair next to him. But I didn’t mind. How could I? It was great to see him becoming his old self again so quickly. He even talked a lot, just as always. This he started to do as soon as the ICU personnel had pulled the respirator out of his throat. A moment later he shocked the nurses when he verbatim repeated the instructions given to him from the physical therapist three days earlier, on how they should help him cough up his phlegm. I just smiled and thought, Yep, that’s my Johannes alright… but how could he recollect that at a time like this. It was truly a good sign.

Throughout the night he continued in the same tracks; with a body in limbo, but a mind racing full speed ahead, asking questions and making comments, soaking in every impression. For the first time it struck me that maybe he would be a great doctor one day, instead of an artist, as he’s often dreaming of. We’ll see… maybe both?

A million dollar moment arrived when the nurses prepared to leave their shift. I wished Angelica could have been there. It was one of those make-your-mother-proud-moments. Johannes carefully raised his arm and grabbed each nurse by the hand and said, while locking his focus deep in their eyes: “Thank you so much… for everything!” Simultaneously they let out an “ahhhhhh”, and one of them added: “No one has ever said that to us before.” I was awestruck. This was not like Johannes. I mean, sure he’s learned how to be cordial and nice to people, but that has worked sometimes more, sometimes less, just like for most children, I suppose. But this time there was something different. He didn’t say those words just to be socially correct. He truly meant every word he said. He was grateful - for everything. The nurses had not only helped him with many practical things; they were also there when he opened his eyes; and they were there to help him start breathing again. This night, at that very moment, to this child, it had meant the world to him. It was everything.

As the night turned to morning, the doctors went on their early rounds, visiting Johannes. They could only agree with what the rest of us had seen, that Johannes was improving at a good rate. And before they left they decided to release Johannes from the two drainage tubes which were injected into his bowels during surgery.

After that I returned to our room at The Ronald McDonald home next to the hospital, and took care of Clara and Isak, while Angelica went to Johannes. And so we have taken turns today. Besides that, the only other news is that Johannes has been taken down from ICU (Intensive Care Unit) to the regular Heart Day Care Center. There he has been sleeping practically all day, as seen below.

Isak came with us to stay all afternoon with Johannes. He knew Johannes needed to sleep a lot, but he still wanted to be near. And besides, there is always somebody nice at the hospital who can play with him. Like Nurse Erik, for example…

Now and then Johannes wakes up, and then we turn him over or something. Here I give him his first treat - ice cream. He enjoyed it… I think.

Tonight it’s Angelica’s turn to stay at Johannes’ side. I pray they both will have a good night’s rest.

Brother Louis

The Unforgetable Elves

Click on the image to see my kids magically transformed…

Winning is not Everything

Lately my sons and I have gone to quite a few hockey games to cheer on our local team, Södertälje (SSK). When we went two days ago the team lost 0-1. In fact, every time we’ve seen them play this season they have lost. I made that comment to the boys and jokingly added that perhaps we should stay home next time. Then perhaps they would win for a change.They didn’t like that idea at all, wondering how in the world their dad ever got so superstitious. Besides, it was fun to go to the arena. Big deal if our team didn’t always win.

My youngest even taught me a valuable lesson. When going to the car I asked if he thought the players were happy about the game.
“Yes, of course!” he replied
“But they lost the game!” I reminded him.
“Daaaad! The most important thing is not win, but to have fun!”
“Well… I agree, son,” I answered a bit shamefully, “but do you really think they thought it was fun when the other team scored?”
He thought for a second. “Maybe not then so much… but at least they had a lot of fun before that happened. And that’s all that matters!”

I let out a laughing sigh. “You know… you are absolutely correct! Things don’t always go the way we plan. The important thing is that we enjoy life as much as we can, when we can. And if thing go bad, like for our hockey team, at least we can remember the fun we’ve had before things started to go bananas. Maybe that happy thought can even help us get back on track again?”

“Yep, that’s exactly what I mean!” he concluded.

Not bad for a 7-year-old.

A Laugh is a Smile that Bursts

“A laugh is a smile that bursts.”

Mary H. Waldrip