Johannes says Thank You!

Johannes wanted to say thank you to all of you who prayed for him these past weeks, that he would be safe during his open-heart surgery. I think there are a lot of things he would like to say, but because of the language barrier, it will only be a short message. But I hope you feel his sincerity.

Blessings! Louis

A Prayer for the Heart (7): Clean Hands

We came home to Södertälje today. It’s a five hour drive from the hospital in Göteborg. It was really good to walk through that front door again. We have been gone for exactly two weeks. Every bone in my body ached for my bed, feeling tired after the drive. I am used to driving for hours on end, but today I was worn out. And I know my wife felt the same. Physically, as well as mentally, it has been a non-stop roller coaster ride. Naturally, Johannes has been the one in the toughest spot, but we’ve been with him all the way, trying to carry his burdens together with him.

Now that we are home again I just wanted to say thank you - a warm thank you - to everyone who has been so supportive in thought, prayer, and action these past weeks. We can’t fully express the gratitude we feel. You’re all angels.

We have been so blessed. The friendliest and most qualified nurses an doctors have taken care of our son, with some of the world’s best surgeons to perform the open-heart surgery. We have had great accommodations at the Ronald McDonald House (unbelievably great). In addition, physical therapists, hospital school teachers, play therapists, etc, have been unbelievably supportive. I wonder how much all this service, including the surgeries, would translate into dollars, if we would have lived in the US? $ 10-20 000? Maybe more? Compare that to our bill: $ 0. It’s at times like this I don’t mind paying such high taxes.

I also want to give a thought about rooms. Just days before we signed in, we got word that the heart ward was jammed with patients, that we even might have to move the surgery to another hospital. Apparently, this had been working situation for some time now, even until the day before we arrived at the hospital. However, on that Monday morning, things were very quiet, with only a few patients in the ward. After Johannes’ surgery, he was placed in the Intensive Care Unit. In the past this had also been overcrowded. Guess how many patients were there with Johannes? None. When he came down to the ward again, he was placed, as is normal procedure, in a room for four. How many were there? Only Johannes. The day before and the day after it was full house. After he had to do his catheterisation, Johannes was taken to the “wake-up” room. The nurse at duty said that just an hour or so earlier they had had chaos with far to many patients. How many were there when Johannes came? You guessed it. Zero. Finally, in most cases, patients in recovery get their own family room. We were blessed to get one, but not every family that came after us were that fortunate.

We had heard from everyone what a “tight” situation we’d be facing. Both of us had some concerns about this, but Angelica, being the mother, was most worried, of course. But still we always ended up alone in each room we came to. We became especially mindful of it when we came to the “wake-up” room (seen below). My wife and I just looked at each other in awe. We realized, with grateful hearts, that wherever Johannes had been taken, the attendees could always give him their full attention. The whole thing felt like a surreal blessing. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. But still… it felt like the whole thing was… planned?

This shows Johannes - alone patient - coming out of his sleep in the “wake-up” room, next to the operating room. As we were sitting there, by the soft light coming down on our son, feeling grateful for the sole attention given to him, I saw a small poster on the wall. I didn’t see all of the text, but I saw the headline. It stated: “With us you’re in clean hands”. Then I saw, behind the text, a set of unfolding hands.

Maybe this business with the rooms was all a coincidence, but still… when I saw those words together with the hands, I couldn’t stop the swelling inside and watering of my eyes. For me it was a connotation suggesting there were more “clean” hands here than those that met the eye. I turned to Angelica, pointed and said, “Do you see that? Look at those words!” She saw that I was touched by it, but broke my focus by saying, “You know… that’s a notice to keep your hands clean with disinfectant.” I looked a little closer. “Oh, yeah… I see it better now.” She continued, “What did you think it was?” I answered, “Well… I just liked the words.” I saw then what she was thinking as she looked at me. (You see, I have this “work injury” of always, in each surrounding, trying to be alert of things that give some higher meaning, so I can more readily pull out examples and applications in my religious education classes.) “Oh, you’re too much!” she said, as we both broke into a laugh. (We were already in good, giggly kind of mood.)”I know, I’m sorry” I said.

But I still like the words, I thought, praying that this father’s hands were “clean” enough.

A Prayer for the Heart (5)

How about those contrasts in life? Yesterday I wrote life is like a tango with steps both forward and backward. Today life is… well… I don’t have the words… but it feels like a SAMBA! Because we’re so happy!!!

The catheterisation of Johannes’ heart went great. The bad signs that were discovered yesterday through the ultra sound was something of a false alarm. We couldn’t be more relieved. And Johannes is another person today. When he woke up from his sedation after today’s small surgery, the first thing he asked in a whisper was, “Do I need another open-heart surgery?” My wife answered, “No, honey, everything looked fine!” He was still to weak to fully open his eyes, but in a daze he said: “Yeah!” spoken in English.

Earlier, when we received the news from the surgeon, we got so excited that we jumped up and down, screaming, laughing… crying. I don’t know how many hallelujah’s and praise-the-Lord’s I uttered, but whatever the number, I am sure it couldn’t have been enough. We were so grateful, beyond words. But still we tried, in our frailty, to say thanks unto God for answering the many prayers offered in behalf of Johannes.

A big thanks also to my brother Richard and his daughter, Mirelle, who took a three hour train ride early this morning, just to come to us in Göteborg and take care of Isak and Clara, so my wife and I could be with Johannes today. The other day it was our good friend Malena who also came and assisted. We are so grateful for all your help.

I’ve got to run! Clara is restless in her bed.

More later….

Louis

A Prayer for the Heart (3)

As soon as I had saved yesterday’s post, A Prayer for the Heart (2), Johannes started to move. I flew out of the chair I was sitting in, almost throwing my laptop to the floor. I wanted to make sure his wish was honored, that Angelica or I would be there when he woke up.

As he tried to move a part of his left arm, slowly, slowly, Johannes reminded me of a groggy and pale ol’ drunkard. His speech was foggy and remained unclear throughout the whole night, of course, with all those drugs in his body. Still, in my eyes, he was so… beautiful. Tonight, beauty was in a tiny movement, like the raising of an eye brow, or twitching of a finger. Any sign of life was welcome. And although I was never really worried, it still made me happy to see Johannes make the effort to energize himself in those tiny, little steps. (Just think how small things can make you so happy.)

I ended up staying at Johannes’ side all night, catching no more than two hours of sleep in a chair next to him. But I didn’t mind. How could I? It was great to see him becoming his old self again so quickly. He even talked a lot, just as always. This he started to do as soon as the ICU personnel had pulled the respirator out of his throat. A moment later he shocked the nurses when he verbatim repeated the instructions given to him from the physical therapist three days earlier, on how they should help him cough up his phlegm. I just smiled and thought, Yep, that’s my Johannes alright… but how could he recollect that at a time like this. It was truly a good sign.

Throughout the night he continued in the same tracks; with a body in limbo, but a mind racing full speed ahead, asking questions and making comments, soaking in every impression. For the first time it struck me that maybe he would be a great doctor one day, instead of an artist, as he’s often dreaming of. We’ll see… maybe both?

A million dollar moment arrived when the nurses prepared to leave their shift. I wished Angelica could have been there. It was one of those make-your-mother-proud-moments. Johannes carefully raised his arm and grabbed each nurse by the hand and said, while locking his focus deep in their eyes: “Thank you so much… for everything!” Simultaneously they let out an “ahhhhhh”, and one of them added: “No one has ever said that to us before.” I was awestruck. This was not like Johannes. I mean, sure he’s learned how to be cordial and nice to people, but that has worked sometimes more, sometimes less, just like for most children, I suppose. But this time there was something different. He didn’t say those words just to be socially correct. He truly meant every word he said. He was grateful - for everything. The nurses had not only helped him with many practical things; they were also there when he opened his eyes; and they were there to help him start breathing again. This night, at that very moment, to this child, it had meant the world to him. It was everything.

As the night turned to morning, the doctors went on their early rounds, visiting Johannes. They could only agree with what the rest of us had seen, that Johannes was improving at a good rate. And before they left they decided to release Johannes from the two drainage tubes which were injected into his bowels during surgery.

After that I returned to our room at The Ronald McDonald home next to the hospital, and took care of Clara and Isak, while Angelica went to Johannes. And so we have taken turns today. Besides that, the only other news is that Johannes has been taken down from ICU (Intensive Care Unit) to the regular Heart Day Care Center. There he has been sleeping practically all day, as seen below.

Isak came with us to stay all afternoon with Johannes. He knew Johannes needed to sleep a lot, but he still wanted to be near. And besides, there is always somebody nice at the hospital who can play with him. Like Nurse Erik, for example…

Now and then Johannes wakes up, and then we turn him over or something. Here I give him his first treat - ice cream. He enjoyed it… I think.

Tonight it’s Angelica’s turn to stay at Johannes’ side. I pray they both will have a good night’s rest.

Brother Louis

Why a Prophet? (1)

Those of you not of my faith might have to exercise a little patience this week, as I, and many with me, use much blog space to honor our prophet, Gordon B Hinckley, who just left us. Having said that, I don’t want to excuse myself from writing what I think needs to be said. (After all you are here of your own free will - for which I thank you.)

My soul rejoiceth that we in this day and age are privileged to hear the word of God, straight and clear, from a living prophet. No if’s or but’s; no consideration for populism or cultural and political trends; just the plain truth to help us live happier lives. This is one of the teachings that sets this Church apart from many others, the claim that God speaks again to the world through a prophet, just as He has done throughout all ages of time.

Think about it! If you believe that God exists, then why would He not guide us today as in times past. Does He love us any less? No. He wouldn’t be God then. He couldn’t! What then, do we need Him any less today? Certainly not! If there were ever a time when we need the care of a loving Heavenly Father, wouldn’t it be today? Ask your heart, it will confirm to you I am speaking truthfully.

I am so grateful for the beautiful comments made on my last post, President Gordon B Hinckley has passed away. I invite you to read them. I want to quote a paragraph from Ann Holbrook who wrote:

“My Father-in-law said, ‘I’m so grateful for the knowledge that the kingdom moves on. Nothing will stop it. We will now have the privilege in our life times of being lead in new ways by others who will be equally inspired and visionary. The Savior is the head of His Church.’ “

This is what it’s all about: “The Kingdom moves on.” The Lord will call new servants. A new prophet will say: “Thus saith the Lord…” God will still stand by us and teach His word; He will not leave us on our own. Some might object to this and say that it is enough that God has left us with the Bible and Holy Spirit to guide us. My comment to this is: Surely it is true that the Bible is God’s word, and that without the guidance of the Holy Spirit we are lost.

But although all things are a part of a symmetric whole, the guidance of the Spirit and that of the prophet must be seen as two different, yet complimentary blessings. Each individual on earth has the right to the companionship of the Holy Spirit, which is manifested in personal revelation and daily inspiration. (You probably know what I am talking about, because surely you have felt this God-given inspiration many times in your life.) The prophet, on the other hand, speaks the will of God, not just to the individual, but collectively to all the peoples of the world. He acts as God’s representative on earth for leaders of nations as well as for the smallest of children. His is the voice that invites all to come unto Christ, not just those “predestined” to be saved (as some falsely teach). He tells the world that with God’s help we can all “stand a little taller”, as President Hinckley always said; that we can be a little bit better in all aspects of life; as parents, children, and community members we can spread the love of Christ to everyone. This is our duty to God and to ourselves, because when you think deep down inside, you also know it is the only cure for this weary, old world.

If there is anything that Gordon B Hinckley has left me, it is just that: the inspiration and desire to stand a little taller, through the grace and love of His Son, Jesus Christ, the only one who can heal our souls . That’s why I was touched by this video I saw today. I don’t think it’s the real name, but I have named it…

STAND A LITTLE TALLER

Part 2 of this topic coming soon…

Loosing Agnes, Gaining Love

A week ago we lost one of our oldest, but dearest members of our congregation, Agnes Traviss. Yesterday her funeral was held. Until my release two months ago, I had been her bishop for many years. I had truly enjoyed her company. She always wore that gleaming smile on her face that would make you forget your own worries for a moment. Often when I looked at her from the stand I thought about her life as a single woman, struggling to get by. She had had many reason to complain, but never once did I hear a bitter word from her lips. On the contrary, she always gave thanks and praise, especially to her Lord Jesus, who had given her the richest of lives. This was the lasting impression and legacy she left to my heart: her perfect example of gratitude. Imaging if we all could adopt this feeling of appreciation for life, and not think so much on what we are missing, but rather about the wonderful gifts already in our hands.

As awkward as it sounds, I believe her death has actually increased my love. I was given a chance to sing at her funeral. For obvious reasons, I usually get quite choked up when singing at funerals, but yesterday was different. I felt a great calm come over me, especially as I thought of Agnes. The thought came to mind of the last time I saw her alive. I had gone to visit her in the hospital on a Sunday, and taken with me some youth from Church. We had chatted about life for awhile, after which we sang two hymns for her. Then we blessed the sacrament (communion) and gave it to her. I remember how happy she was. It didn’t seem to matter to her that her whole body was on the brink of destruction, now that her spirit had been renewed. Again the gratitude. Again the love to her Saviour.

As I thought of this during my song, and in the following moments, I came to understand more clearly how important each individual is, and how we have to impart unconditional love to all we come in contact with. This is what Jesus taught, especially the kind of love shown to the needy. In James 1:27 we read:

“Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction and to keep himself unspotted from the world.”

So when it comes down to it, it matters little about the amount of knowledge we possess, or how load we shout the name of Jesus (as some people do, thinking this act will save them somehow). “Pure religion” is something else: It’s not knowing or saying - it’s doing; it’s caring about the poor and the needy, or the lonely, as in Agnes’ case. If we don’t care for the needy in the spirit of true charity then we are just as Paul described, a “tinkling cymbal” (I Cor 13:1), a person making a lot of noise, but doing no good.

So yes, I carry a sadness in my heart today for the loss of Agnes. But I am also happy she helped me realize what the power of love can do to a person. And although I am only human, I hope through the grace of God that my eyes will be opened so I can truly see the needs of others. I pray we all can.

This is a picture of Agnes with some friends from Church at our traditional, Swedish lobster party last year. You will notice her smile, something she always wore.

It’s a Good Life

Publishing my first blog.

When I thought of a suitable title for my page, I didn’t have to think long. As a matter of fact, I didn’t think at all. It just came to my mind immediately: A Good Life. Whether this was inspiration or just good common sense, it matters not. I just know that this is how I feel, that life is good; that my life is wonderful, although I share much of the same hardships that you face, I’m sure. But I thank God for the every day experiences that mould me to who I am - and can become.

Hence, this will not be a blog where complaints are cast out here and there. Rather, in the name of optimism, my texts will attempt to see the world from a brighter angle. Hopefully these words (and photos) can be of inspiration to someone out there.

Be seeing you, friends

PS. I am trying to figure out this WordPress better. If you have any special tricks for a better looking page, please let me know