How to Forgive a Murderer

Anyone living in Sweden has not been able to go untouched by Engla and her tragic story. She is the ten-year-old girl who was recently abducted and killed by a middle aged man in central Sweden. In a newspaper yesterday I read something that moved me to tears. It was an open letter from Engla’s family. Here’s a copy of it:

“Vi vill tacka för den enorma uppslutningen stöd och engagemang från alla som varit vid vår sida under sökande och i vår sorg, som blivit allas våran sorg.
Engla var en tjej som spred ljus och glädje.
Engla har alltid vetat att hon skulle bli något speciellt, nu vet vi att hon blev en ljusbärare som förenar våra hjärtan över hela världen. Vi känner tillsammans och påverkas av varandra. Vi förstår att vi är ett.
Snälla ta hand om varandra och var varlig mot vår jord.
Vi får frågor om vad vi känner för 42-åringen - Folk kan bara gå till sig själva och känna, så förstår de vad vi känner. Att han har erkänt gör att vi kan släppa oron för att Engla fortfarande far illa någonstans.
Vårt liv kommer aldrig att bli sig likt men vi kommer att kämpa för att hitta en vardag för oss och våra barn, där vi vill hitta ett sätt att bära Englas ljus vidare till något stort och positivt för alla.
Frid och kärlek
Carina, Torbjörn, barnen”

This 42-year-old murderer is the most despised person in Sweden at the moment. Anyone who’s had the chance to say anything about him has used words of hatred and disgust. Now Engla’s family had the opportunity to speak, and if any had the right to feel hatred it would be this family, of course. But in their words to us, they choose another path, regardless of the crushing heartache they must be experiencing, caused by this man; they choose the path of “peace and love”.

Although they do not explicitly say they forgive their daughter’s killer, they want to tell us that light and love is a better way than ill-feeling and hatred. They don’t place much focus on the murderer, but rather what we all – and not just their family – can bring with us into the future that will help make this world a better place.

There has been a kind of an Engla fever in the media. Everyone is writing and talking about it, ever since she disappeared; the business of finding Engla - and now grieving for her - has become everyone’s business. The whole nation is united in heart and purpose in way that is quite unusual to see. I feel it almost dreadful to say, but her death has brought so many others to life. And this is actually what I think is the core message from her family. I quote in part:

“Engla always knew that she was going to be something special, and now we know that she became a light-bearer that united our hearts all over the world… We understand that we are one…. Our life will never be the same but we will strive to return to everyday life… where we will find a way to carry the light of Engla onward to something great and positive for us all.”

I think this viewpoint is commendable beyond words. What a great example for us all, turning this tragedy into something hopeful for our society. I can only hope that I would have the same strength in that situation; for many of us it would be hard. But wherever we are in life, we could learn from this family, that hate and revenge is not the answer; that it will in truth only hurt us more than whichever offender we direct our anger at. Rather, we could push forward in a positive spirit, putting away the gloom of hate, and like Engla’s family carry a warm light with us instead.

I wish God’s choicest blessings for the Engla, now in her heaven, and for her sweet family.

Baby Born with Two Faces

Do you ever seize to be amazed? In India a baby girl, Lali, was born with two faces, a very rare condition knowns as craniofacial duplication. When I saw this photo I thought, “Oh no! Poor child. Poor family. How will they ever survive this enormous trail?” But then I read the article in the Chicago Tribune. I was simply awestruck. Instead of feeling “cursed” by God (or the gods), this family actually feels blessed, even believing the child to be the reincarnation of a Hindu goddess. They plan to build a temple in her honor, and people are visiting them every day bringing gifts and money. Their poor little village is now known all across the world. The other blessing is that the girl actually is doing well physically. Her parents say Lali is fine, just like any other child.

Naturally, life will be become more and more difficult for the girl as she grows up, but I am still impressed how this family has taken on this seemingly impossible challenge and turned it around; they only see their child as a blessing for the family, nothing else. Talk about a positive outlook. I hope the grace of God will continue to wrap its arms around little Lali - especially in the years ahead.

Making a Difference

When I wrote the post Take Control (1): Be a Captain I got an e-mail from a friend in the Netherlands who told me a good story. It made me glad to see what great influence one person can have upon another, especially when communication between them is based on love and truth. And also, that each person can change his or her life for the better, if they really want to (as stated in the end).

Here is a part of Angélique van Tintelen e-mail:

“Your post made me think of someone I dealt with in my previous job. You know I worked for the district attorney’s office in Amsterdam for a few years, and while there had a “regular customer”, a 15 year old boy. Finally, after yet another arrest (for his 3rd armed robbery, no less), I asked him why he was back in my office with such regular intervals. He immediately started blaming all kinds of people, his parents for not giving him enough pocket allowance, his teachers for not giving him enough attention, people in general who didn’t like him or so he thought, and me, I was mean to him, and on and on he went.

“What was interesting is that this boy had an older brother and sister who excelled at almost everything they did. Brother in medical school, sister in law school, both honour students. So, my next question was why his brother and sister seemed to be leading a great life, with the same parents, same school, same teachers, same people, etc. I tried to tell him that I did not think he was getting a raw deal. He led the life he led because of decisions HE made. So I gave him a choice. He could either continue on the path he was on, which definitely would lead to more jail time, or I could try to put him in touch with a counsellor, he would go back to school and stay on the straight and narrow from now on. If he managed to keep out of trouble, his record would be deleted on his 18th birthday.

“It took a while, but after a few months (and a few more arrests, sigh), he finally decided to accept my offer. He finished high school in the top 10 of his class and now attends classes at the university here. What impresses me the most is the complete change he underwent. From a sulky teenager simply oozing hostility, he is friendly, clean cut, and simply happy (my mom actually thought he was a missionary when we ran into him at the mall :-0 ). He is, of course and unfortunately, an exception. But still, he is living proof to me of the fact that you are in control of your own life.

“You can make a difference, but you have to WANT it.”

So there we have it, one of life’s simply truths: You can make a difference in your own life - and in someone else’s - if you really want to.

Brother Louis

Loosing Agnes, Gaining Love

A week ago we lost one of our oldest, but dearest members of our congregation, Agnes Traviss. Yesterday her funeral was held. Until my release two months ago, I had been her bishop for many years. I had truly enjoyed her company. She always wore that gleaming smile on her face that would make you forget your own worries for a moment. Often when I looked at her from the stand I thought about her life as a single woman, struggling to get by. She had had many reason to complain, but never once did I hear a bitter word from her lips. On the contrary, she always gave thanks and praise, especially to her Lord Jesus, who had given her the richest of lives. This was the lasting impression and legacy she left to my heart: her perfect example of gratitude. Imaging if we all could adopt this feeling of appreciation for life, and not think so much on what we are missing, but rather about the wonderful gifts already in our hands.

As awkward as it sounds, I believe her death has actually increased my love. I was given a chance to sing at her funeral. For obvious reasons, I usually get quite choked up when singing at funerals, but yesterday was different. I felt a great calm come over me, especially as I thought of Agnes. The thought came to mind of the last time I saw her alive. I had gone to visit her in the hospital on a Sunday, and taken with me some youth from Church. We had chatted about life for awhile, after which we sang two hymns for her. Then we blessed the sacrament (communion) and gave it to her. I remember how happy she was. It didn’t seem to matter to her that her whole body was on the brink of destruction, now that her spirit had been renewed. Again the gratitude. Again the love to her Saviour.

As I thought of this during my song, and in the following moments, I came to understand more clearly how important each individual is, and how we have to impart unconditional love to all we come in contact with. This is what Jesus taught, especially the kind of love shown to the needy. In James 1:27 we read:

“Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction and to keep himself unspotted from the world.”

So when it comes down to it, it matters little about the amount of knowledge we possess, or how load we shout the name of Jesus (as some people do, thinking this act will save them somehow). “Pure religion” is something else: It’s not knowing or saying - it’s doing; it’s caring about the poor and the needy, or the lonely, as in Agnes’ case. If we don’t care for the needy in the spirit of true charity then we are just as Paul described, a “tinkling cymbal” (I Cor 13:1), a person making a lot of noise, but doing no good.

So yes, I carry a sadness in my heart today for the loss of Agnes. But I am also happy she helped me realize what the power of love can do to a person. And although I am only human, I hope through the grace of God that my eyes will be opened so I can truly see the needs of others. I pray we all can.

This is a picture of Agnes with some friends from Church at our traditional, Swedish lobster party last year. You will notice her smile, something she always wore.

Like Father, Like Son

Took this shot in August, but wanted to share it today. The recemblance was just great, I thought. But I can’t decide… who has the best hair style?

Have a great day!

Louis

How Is Your Conscience Today?

Recently I was out walking with my baby girl. When we entered our favorite forest path, she rapidly nodded off to sleep as the carriage softly swayed back and forth. Lucky me, I thought, time for a photo shoot. It was a beautiful day and I had my camera ready with a 100mm macro lens.

I enjoy the forest immensely. There is a special feeling there that I can’t put my finger on. This is the first image a took (arranged a little in Lightroom)

At the edge of the forest we reached a field, at which there was a highway on the opposite side. All of a sudden I saw this truck driving by.

The combination of seeing the text on this vehicle and me being outdoors, my environmental conscience was making itself known. I rejoiced at the knowledge that I had a short moment to enjoy all the gifts of nature. I even decided to celebrate that fact - by taking more photos.

I looked after more signs of autumn. Here’s one.

I went past a few allotment gardens. Here I found some remains of the rain from the night before.

And here are some melons, protected inside a green house.

On the way home I took some more forest shots.

I felt truly intoxicated by mother earth’s beauty. But… just as I made that point to myself I saw that someone literally had been intoxicated. The images I previously had in my mind were all erased - by this!

So much for green grass and “blue water”, I thought. I know it’s not the most vile crime, but still, who would do such a thing? I usually try to see the good in each of God’s children, so I worked hard at pushing away any feelings of anger. Then I reached up, grabbed the beer can from the branch, and started for home.

But after ten yards or so, I saw the light falling nicely by this tree trunk. I just had to stop. So I placed the can on the ground and took my picture.

After leaving that spot, and walking a while, I suddenly stopped and said out loud: “Oh, no, the can!” I forgot to bring it! Then a voice crept into my left ear: “No, just forget about it! It’s too far to go back. It wasn’t even your can to begin with!”

I was almost sold on the idea when I heard another voice, this time from my right side: “Do you really want to be like the other one? That’s who you’ll be if you walk away now!”

I sighed. “Okay, okay!” I answered my conscious. (It’s strange - but maybe not - how he always knows the right questions to ask.) Without further thought I went back, picked up the can, then threw it in the nearest trash bin. Just as I did so an elderly couple with walking sticks passed by. Apparently they had seen what had happened, because the woman said to me: “Wow, I wish everyone could do what you just did now!”

They passed me so quickly that I didn’t get a chance to register the comment, so all I could squeeze out was: “Uhhh… thanks!”

And thanks to you… conscience!

Louis