Take Control (3): Be a Friend

Continuation of Take Control (1): Be a Captain and Take Control (2): Be Good

Today I just want to summarize my thoughts with two connecting ideas. When followed, I think they will be a huge factor of our progress, helping us get real control in life.

Surround yourself with people that lift you up
You need friends in life, friends who can support your dreams, friends who will love you and stick by you, despite your faults. We have to choose these friends carefully. Sometimes we just hang out with the wrong crowd, with people who pull us down rather than inspire us. Sure, there may persons who are “fun” to be around, but two questions are important to ask ourselves: Do they share my values in life? And I am a better person because of them? If the answer is no - move on!

On the road of life we need friends we can depend on.

Be the one who lifts others
But on the road of life we also need to be the kind of person that others can depend on. What we give others can’t be any different than what we expect from them (the golden rule, you know). In other words, if I want good friends, I have to be a good friend.

Am I a person that others can lean on?

Unlike what society and media are telling us, giving is better than receiving. We need to get away from our self-centered way of thinking that I, me, and myself always come first. We are fooled to think that this is the best way to happiness. It’s actually the opposite; true happiness is gained by giving of ourselves to others.

Be happy (and stay in control) - be a good friend!

Your friend,
Louis

Note: The pictures are taken from the CES study convention mentioned in part 1

Take Control (2): Be Good

Continuation of Take Control (1): Be a Captain

So in which end do we start if we want to take control of our lives? How about with the following truth: We reap what we sow. I believe most people, deep down inside, want a life filled with goodness. Doing good, then, has to be our first task. Because when we strive to do good, good will be our reward. No matter what faith or conviction we might have in life, this is universally true: The first step in gaining control of our lives is deciding to do the right thing. Period.

What is the right thing then? What is “good”? Well, we could spend hours debating that, I suppose, but here’s a thought. I believe it’s all about making decisions that lead to lasting joy and happiness, not to temporary and fleeting thrills. Take the example, in my previous post, with our radio DJ, the one who vowed not to drink or smoke. Some people may say to her: “Oh, I feel sorry for you, that you can’t do whatever you want!” They might think her freedom is limited. On the contrary, I would say her freedom is complete; she can choose to do whatever she wants; she has the power to choose both good and bad. But a person with any kind of addiction is never free to choose. He gave up that right the very moment became addicted. He can only choose the bad. Why? Because it’s controlling him, leaving him with no choice. If this is the state of our being, no real freedom can be experienced; hence, no real control. We become like birds who loose their ability to fly.

Take care of your wings. They are your ticket to freedom.

Now, this is not only about alcohol and tobacco, of course. It was just an example to illustrate a principle:

It is better to be in control than being controlled.

I guess I’m trying to say that doing “good” has to do with taking care of yourself and being kind to yourself. If you have a bad habit that ties you down and makes you unhappy, get rid of it! The surest way in gaining self esteem is the practice of self control. Say no to things you don’t want to do! Listen to your heart instead of group or media pressure. Remember, you are in charge! Knowing that, doesn’t it make you feel good? If something is stopping you from living all your dreams and living up to your full potential, get rid of those obstacles and stick to the program that you want - that which you have chosen.

The spider can build his own web. Can we?

To be continued…

Take Control (1): Be a Captain

These are some thoughts I wrote down in September, but have not posted here until today:

I never thought I’d say it: RIX FM (a commercial hit radio station) has given me inspiration! I was listening to the radio the other week, and I heard one of the DJ’s say that she neither smoked nor drank because this gave her the greatest sense of control. Then she challenged her listeners: “I want to tell everyone out there: Take control of your life!“

Wow. How simple, yet profound. I liked it so much that I decided to include it in my teaching, and I actually got the chance last weekend when I used it as a theme for a study convention for some young adults in the Church. Time won’t allow for a detailed report, but one of the most decisive questions that stuck in my mind during our classes was the following:

Do I let surrounding forces govern my actions?

In other words, am I the captain of my life? Or is something else - or someone else - controlling me? When I sit down in the boat, do I take command of the oars, or am I left a victim of water currents that leave me drifting every which way?

Who commands the oars?

Life is not always peace and joy. In fact, sometimes we feel like we’ve been conquered by unseen enemies, who leave our body and soul broken down on the battle fields of life. In that moment we often shout: “It’s not fair! Why me?”

I certainly don’t have all the answers, but this I know: For whatever reason you feel down, there is always a way out. Why? Because you’re not a victim! You are the creator of your destiny, not an accident of chance. Sure, rain will sometimes pour all over you, but with a right balance of faith and hard work you can pull yourself through any situation - if you really want it! That’s why rain coats are made.

Take Control (2): Be Good

Help Thou My Unbelief

Last week I taught a few Institute of Religion classes at Bolliaden, a Young Adult conference in the Church. The theme of the conference was Walking on the Straight Path. The students brought a good spirit and the participation level was high. Like I often say, I feel privileged to teach in such settings, especially since I feel as though I have been taught just as much - if not more - as my students.

Our discussion came to focus a lot on faith, as being the opposite of fear. A few of the many scriptural references were found in the gospel of Mark. One of the most well known is found in 5:36:

“Be not afraid, only believe.”

What power a sentence like this has. Can you even begin to understand what miracles and giant leaps you can experience in your life if you just put away the fear that keeps you bound, and put all your faith in Christ instead. Turning a few pages in Mark we find in 9:23 another great truth that Jesus spoke:

“If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth.”

These words were spoken to a desperate man who had carried his son to Jesus, in hope that He would help remove the son’s “dumb [evil] spirit”. Upon hearing Jesus’ reassuring words, the father exclaimed: “Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief” (9:24). Prior to my lesson I had reflected quite a bit on these words. I can understand why the father would say “Lord, I believe”, but why does he add “help thou my unbelief”? Doesn’t it seem like a contradiction?

But then one of the students from Danmark made a comment that bordered on some of my personal thoughts, and I was touched by what he said. He explained that many people came to Jesus to be healed. In fact, at times the rumor of Jesus’ miracles had spread so much that people came from far and wide just to take part in some sign or other. Did everyone that came to Jesus have witness of Him as Lord and Saviour of the world? No. Many of them didn’t even know who he was, just that he was some sort of miracle man, or magician, perhaps. This father may well have fitted into that category of persons, desperate for some help, like so many others.

The student went on to say that after the man had said to Jesus that he believed, there was probably an exchange of glances, a moment where Jesus eyes might have asked the man: “Yes, you may believe I can do this, but… do you really believe in me?” A chord may have been hit in the father, for then he cried out to Jesus to “help his unbelief”.

Naturally, we don’t know all the details in their encounter, but I think both I and the students felt the spiritual meaning of Jesus’ words to this father. We came to realize that many of us are like this poor man; the natural man in us will not turn as often as he should to God, with exception of those moments when he stands in some desperate need, and need immediate help. This saddens me. Jesus wants to be - and needs to be - a part of our everyday life, not just on occasions “suitable” for us. Do we believe in him or do we really believe in him? If not the latter, then we must join in the father’s words:

“Help though my unbelief.”

For the Endowments of Life

Last week I attended a CES Conference. At one point a friend and colleague gave all the participants a few minutes to write a personal psalm. I’m not a poet, I know, but I was still glad to have a few solitary moments to clear the world from my mind and write these words of gratitude. For the wonders of the earth, I adore Thee For the light in heaven, I see Thee For the glories of thy creations, I admire Thee For the blessing of family, I honor Thee For the companionship of friends, I thank Thee For the power of Thy Word, I worship Thee For the gift of Thy Son, I praise Thee For the Spirit that enlightens me, I follow Thee For all the endowments of life - I love Thee If I were to add (my own) images to my thoughts it could look something like this. For the wonders of the earth, I adore Thee For the light in heaven, I see Thee For the glories of thy creations, I admire Thee For the blessing of family, I honor Thee For the companionship of friends, I thank Thee For the power of Thy Word, I worship Thee For the gift of Thy Son, I praise Thee For the Spirit that enlightens me, I follow Thee For all the endowments of life - I love Thee Comments to some pictures: Nr 4 shows my family; nr 5 shows some colleagues and friends; nr 6 shows a recent baptism in Lodz, Poland, in a ‘home-made’ baptismal font; nr 7 shows one of my Polish Institute students with a painting of Christ in the background.

Big Pictures and Sacrifices

I had a tricky lesson recently. The text was taken from the first half of Leviticus (Old Testament), and dealt a great deal with the sacrificial offerings the Israelites were commanded to perform. Understandably, some of the students were… how shall we put it… a bit nauseated by the description of these offerings; blood sprinkled on the altar and intestines being cleaned, etc, didn’t appeal to all students. For these reasons I tried to minimize those part, so as not to gear our focus in the wrong direction.

Because the true focus should be on the big picture: Jesus Christ. If we, like many of the Israelites, get caught up in the details we might miss the crucial point: that all the ancient sacrifices constituted one great symbol, that of remembrance of our Lord, Jesus Christ; that our hearts and minds are locked in focus toward Him who gave all that we might have life.

Both the Bible and Book of Mormon are clear on the matter. The law of Moses, with all its ordinances, was “pointing to that great and last sacrifice… the Son of God” (Alma 34:14). Thus the law became our “schoolmaster to bring us to Christ” (Galatians 3:24).

His is the only life-giving blood. He gave it freely. That was His gift, personally to each one of us. In return we give our life as a personal sacrifice, and devote time, energy, and resources in serving our fellow men. That is what we are here for.

The morning after the lesson I took a stroll with my baby girl. I had my camera at hand and also took some photos. I’d like to show two of them here, just to illustrate the above.

Normally I enjoy details in photos… but not here. The birds have left a mess on this dock.

If I would have left now, not taken this other image, then I would have withheld the big picture from you - the one giving you real perspective.

So it is with our faith: There may be things that seem awkward when viewed out of context, but I assure that everything has its place if we broaden our understanding, looking at the big picture.

Honestly, isn’t this a better view?

The Smallest is the Greatest

Today is a planes-trains-and-automobile kind of day. I’m travelling back from a CES job convention in Frankfurt, Germany. At present I am on a train, getting closer to home. But I just spent two hours in an airplane, having a pleasant conversation with a nice lady who shared with me the faith of a Christian.

We talked about everything from religion to education. But a few minutes before landing we both settled in silent awe as we looked out into the night sky and saw the beautiful lights of northern Stockholm below. Expressions were made of how grand the earth was, and how small we are in comparison. Then amazingly, we both started to quote, simultaneously, the well known words in Psalms 8:3-4:

When I consider thy heavens, the work of thy fingers, the moon and the stars, which thou hast ordained; What is man, that thou art mindful of him?

No words can describe the grandeur of God. To me, God’s creation is utterly amazing, yes, but another thought is even more mind-boggling: that He knows who I am; that He knows my name; that He cares for every step I take. So although I am but one of the smallest results of His workmanship, yet I am the greatest.

If this is true about me, what does that say about you?

Christ Heals Family

One of my duties as a CES Coordinator is to visit teachers and students in their various classes, assisting with administrative matters. Last night, as I met with a class in central Sweden, I spoke at length with the teacher about her recent family tragedy. Her twenty-one year old son had passed away a month ago in a motor accident.

She explained that even though there had been many tears and a feeling of void in their lives, there had still been light - even peace. I asked her how it was possible? She spoke calmly but resolute: “It’s because of Christ.” I thought for a second about others who have expressed similar words, and although I for the most part have little reason to doubt their sincerity, there was something different about this woman. She really meant what she said. I could see it in her countenance; still the same person, yes, but different still.

“How do you mean?” I asked. She explained that she had always believed in the atoning sacrifice of Jesus Christ, at least in theory. “But now”, she said, “I know it really works!” Excitement gathered in her eyes as she continued, speaking also for her family: “Even though we have known that Christ has taken all our burdens upon himself, we have never felt it the way we do now. There are no why’s or if’s! Just a peaceful assurance that God is with us, lifting us when our own strength fails us.”

Many times have I felt the power of Jesus’ atonement. His healing power is real, no doubt. But I was still awestruck by the words I heard (and there were many more) last night. In a moment when most people would resort to despair and perhaps fear, this family had opened its heart to God - and was healed.

When we parted she thanked me sincerely for coming. “No problem,” I said, a little ashamed, “but… I should be the one thanking you!” I had come there hoping to give something to this teacher and her family, but I knew it was I who was at the receiving end.

Thank you.