Trying to Please Everyone
“I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.”
Bill Cosby
This is a tricky quote. If you read it word for word it’s not telling the whole truth, is it? I think we all agree that there can be more causes to failure. In and of itself, trying to please everyone is not a bad thing.
But the point I think Bill Cosby is trying to make is that trying to please everyone is a road that will sooner or later make you feel 1) really bad, and/or 2) really stressed. Why? Because it cannot be done. So there’s where the failure come in.
A serious problem with trying to please everyone is that you might be forced to abandon you ideals. Not everyone will share your ethics and morals. Stooping down, as it were, from the bar you’ve raised for yourself just to make someone else happy will only makes you unhappy. In other words, there will always be a price to pay when trying to please everyone.
What then, should we stop trying to please each other? Not at all! On the contrary, we must do all we can for each other. It should be our goal to please everyone. The problems and the stress begin, however, when we start to measure the success of this goal by counting how many are pleased – or rather, are not pleased – with what we have accomplished.
Before God and man you can only do your best. That’s it. Period. And if your best is not good enough for some people, bluntly speaking: that’s their problem. You’ve done what you can. It’s neither right nor fair that you should punish yourself for something you can’t control.
I know what I’m talking about. In large parts I am this person I am describing. But I have decided not to waste more time and energy (cause I have none to spare) in feeling bad because I can’t make everyone happy. Coming to terms, accepting things as they really are, really helps. I just had to let go of the wishful thinking. But what I kept was the promise that I know we all can pledge to: that we always treat our fellow men with respect and kindness. That must be our gift.
Now the thing with gifts, once you give them away you never know if the receiver will be pleased. Does that mean you refrain from giving? No, you hand them over anyway, because it’s your duty. If your gift is well received, wonderful! If not, you’ve still done a wonderful thing, and you will be blessed for it. The one who looses is not you, but the receiver. Just be happy that you’ve done the right thing.
Be happy also for this great truth:
Although you can’t please everyone, you can always please SOMEONE.
That’s reality. And that’s something to rejoice about.
Brother Louis
hmmm, interesting, except Its not cosbys quote. Try Herbert Swope. Its funny because he was a journalist and won the first pulitzer prize, you wrote wrote a whole story on a misquote by a real journalist. its kinda funny and ironic.
The quote is taken from an official publication, standing in my book shelf, stating these are Cosby’s words. You can also find it on countless of quote pages on the internet. There’s no doubt Cosby said this. Swope puts it in a different way, but with the exact same meaning: “I cannot give you the formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure, which is: Try to please everyone.” I’m sorry but I must have missed your point that this is both funny and ironic? Both men said the same thing. So… I have not made up a “story” on a misquote. If you read the content of my text you will notice I am just teaching a principle, based on my personal feelings.
This is written very nicely and clearly…..
“To fail is a natural consequence of trying, To succeed takes time and prolonged effort in the face of unfriendly odds. To think it will be any other way, no matter what you do, is to invite yourself to be hurt and to limit your enthusiasm for trying again”…..David Viscott
I´m so glad you brought this important topic up! It´s something we all struggle with, part of being human, I suppose.
Myself I was, growing up, the one that turned myself inside out trying to plese – until one day I had no idea who I really was, and had to find myself again! But God is good, He turned on the light, and we´ve furnished and decorated my inner room together. One thing that really helped me is to remind myself that my worth as a person comes not from what others think of me, but from the fact that I am created to mirror God and that He loves me just as I am. This doesn´t mean that I can treat others without love and respect, for what is true about me is also true about them!
HEJ LOUIS. I CAN ONLY SAY IT IS RIGHT,THAT WE CAN NOT MAKE ALL PEOPLE HAPPY AND WE CAN NOT PLEASE ALL. WE CAN ONLY DO OUR BEST WHEN WE TRY TO MAKE A FRIEND OR A FAMILY MEMBER HAPPY. HUGS FROM YOUR FRIEND LENE MARIE.
I am sure many of us can relate to this, myself included. We try so hard, we want so much to please everyone. And letting go of the wishful thinking; well that can be a challenge.
I believe the most important thing is being true to yourself. Because if you’re not, in the end you will have nothing to give to anyone. The tricky part is finding the balance in being true to your own ideals without stepping on someone else’s toes.
I guess in some cases, that cannot really be done either!
Maybe we need to remind ourselves “I am good enough” more often.
And I like what you say; We never know whether or not the receiver will be pleased, but the gift has it’s own value anyhow ’cause you have done the right thing giving it. There’s a lot of wisdom in that.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Linda
Gosh, I’m really touched by this article…
You know why??? Well, what you describe is actualy one of my biggest problems.
I just can’t say “NO” to someone, and that brought me in a lot of troubles the past few years. My husband just hates that!
I wish I could do something about it, but it is so difficult to choose the right way between!
Every time I hope God will help me to find the right way…I just want to HELP everyone, and I just can’t accept this is not possible. Stuborn as I am…
XXX